That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series stand out not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series started, it seemed as if it had finally found its groove. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator announced this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too on-the-nose. Yet, viewers certainly found joy dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to begin enumerating the problems. The laughably leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and materialism? The seemingly deliberate parade of cliches? Performances so poor they felt almost spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse claims and fatherly shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy characters meeting in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various London rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was like consuming a marketing brochure. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The material needed to be treated with care. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and eliminating – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.